could this be me?

March 27th, 2007 by chin-adik

She’s the one you call when you’re
bored because she makes you laugh.
She’s the one you talk to when you’re
feeling down because she’s willing to
lend an ear
& be a friend. She’s not the one you
call when you need a date to your
company’s
Christmas party, or to go dancing with
on a Saturday night. She’s the one you
spend
time with between girlfriends, before
you find "The One." You know, the one
who you
keep around in the meantime. She’s not
one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you
don’t
look at her as a ‘real’ woman, either.
She’s not bitchy enough, or moody
enough to be
seen in that light. She’s too laid-
back, too easily amused by the same
things your male
buddies are amused by. She’s too
understanding, too comfortable; she
doesn’t make you
feel nervous or excited the way
a ‘real’ woman does. But she’s cool,
and nice, and funny,
& attractive enough that when you’re
lonely & need female companionship,
she’ll do just
fine. You don’t have to wine & dine
her because she knows the real you
already, & you
don’t have any facades to keep up, no
pretenses to preserve. You’re not
trying to get
anything of substance out of her,
she’s not easy, but you know that she
cares about you
& is attracted to you, & that she’ll
give you the friend you need. And you
know you
don’t have to explain yourself or the
situation, that she’ll be able to cope
with the
fact that this isn’t the beginning of
a relationship or that there’s any
possibility
that you have any real romantic
feelings for her. It won’t bother her
that you’ll go on
a date with the woman you’ve been
mooning over for weeks who finally
agreed to go out
with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye
hug & a promise to call her & tell her
how the
date went. She’s just so cool.
But deep down, if you really think
about it (which you probably don’t
because to you,
the situation between the two of you
isn’t important enough to merit any
real thought),
you know that it’s really not fair.
You know that although she would never
say it,
it hurts her to know that despite all
her good points & all the fun you two
have,
you don’t think she’s good enough to
spend any real time with. Sure, it’s
mostly her
fault, because she doesn’t have to
give in to your needs. She could play
the hard-to-get
person like the rest of them do, if
she really wanted to. But you & she
both know that
she probably couldn’t pull it off.
Maybe she’s too short, or a little
overweight, or
has a big birthmark on her forehead,
or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the
reason,
somehow life has given her a lot of
really great qualities but has left
out the ones
that men want (or think they want) in
a woman. So she remains forever the
funny friend,
the steadfast companion, & you go on
searching for your goddess who will
somehow be
everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You’ll joke to her that she should be
the best
man at your wedding, & she’ll laugh
and make a joke about a smelly rental
tux.
She doesn’t captivate you with her
beauty, or open doors with her smile.
Mainly she
blends in with the crowd. She’s safe.
She doesn’t want to be the center of
attention &
turn the heads of everyone in the
room, but she wants to turn someone’s
head. She wants
to be special to someone, too. We all
do. She has feelings; she has a heart.
In fact,
she probably has a bigger & better
heart than any woman you’ve ever known
because she’s
had a front-row seat to The Mess That
Is Your Life, & she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something
worthwhile & redeeming in you because
although you’ve
given her nothing, absolutely no
reason to still be around, she is. And
someday,
she won’t be around.

**i copied this from lin.=)

sad but nice=) way too nice.

Bookmark and Share

aww, this is what u call “not meant to be.”

March 21st, 2007 by chin-adik

Manila

International

Airport

, 2:00 am. It’s been two years since she had last seen the

Manila

International

Airport

. Not much has changed.Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel dropped her off. She was on her way to

New York

to pursue a career in Wall Street.  "Promise me something will you? Please don’t get married until I come back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her backpack.  "LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise me you won’t run off with some nerdy economist in the next two years."   

"Let’s see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I’ll call you as soon I get to

New York

."

That was her last memory in this place. The warm

Manila

air made her feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is the first time in two years she’ll be seeing Miguel again. She was thoughtfully going through the immigration counters, thinking of how much she missed seeing Miguel.  How different would he be now? Sure he sends her regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the busy person that she had always been, she didn’t get the time to chat with him and buy a webcam.

She’s finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She wondered. "Ah there!" she exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan Patrol parked near the exit. TGW926. Yup, that’s Miguel alright. Her heart was leaping ahead of her as the driver got off.  "Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.

"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she hugged him back. It was warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel his hug. "Let me get those." He said pointing at her luggage. "Then we’ll have more time for hugging and chika."

"Okay."

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel’s cellphone rings. Mama, the name flashes on the screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She’s been waiting for you. She insist that we go straight to her after I pick you up form the airport. She also insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel was talking about her mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother wanted a daughter. She would often tell Bea that since she doesn’t have a mom anymore, she should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She loved Bea as if she were her own daughter.

"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?… ah opo. Miguel already told me. Sige po. Okay po. I’ll see you later." She turns off the phone and looks out the window. The phone rings again, this time the name "Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar." He was quick. He got a hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah. Pauwi na. I’m with her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We’ll see you tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See Sugar? Who is Sugar, anyway?  "Who was that?" she couldn’t keep herself from asking. "Sugar ha?"

"I’ll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa bahay. By the way, kamusta na si Edward?"   "Edward?"

"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na iniwan mo sa

New York

?  Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi kita niligawan eh. Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa

New York

." Miguel has met Edward when he came to

New York

to give Bea a surprise visit. He seems a nice guy. Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea would end up with. He is actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of things about you. Parang may balak ata?"

"Balak na?"

"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like he was going to propose to you kasi."

"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris’, 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman enters the living room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm smile and two open arms.  She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and kissed her on the cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na kita. Pinakain ka ba nito si Miguel?"

"Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much has changed in this house.  She remembers spending her college days in this house. She remembers sinking into Tita Doris’ arms when her mom died. She remembers only good things about this woman. She can’t remember a time when she had been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin mo ‘wag padalos-dalos magdesisyon."

"

Po

?"

"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I’ll tell her everything tomorrow."  Miguel interrupted his mother before she can spill the beans.

"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.

"Bukas na lang."

"Okay. Tita, if it’s okay I’ll go rest now." She hugged her, and proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her carrying her luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

   "Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They were both standing as the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it’s really good to be back in this house. I’ll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris’ 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight flooding her bedroom. She was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed sheets and took a nice, cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the garden having brunch with Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."

"Iha, I’ll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise me something, though.  Whatever happens you’ll always be my daughter, Bea?"

She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend sounded like he was going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"

Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement ring. She looked at Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer, Miguel showed up. With him is a woman she had not seen before. She was of medium frame, shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.

"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar, my fiancée`." It felt as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His what? Blood rushed to her head.She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm. She couldn’t swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per minute.

"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then suddenly white as with shock. "I’m sorry, Sugar but this is quite a surprise. Miguel has never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she said as she looked at Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita Doris, she looked back as if she was consoling her.

"Yeah, I got engaged. I’m keeping my promise. I’m getting married on Saturday. O di ba you’re here so in essence I’ve kept my promise."

She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel and congratulated him.She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch here, girl. Take good care of him or else I will snatch him under your nose." It sounded as if she was just joking, turning over a very important possession to it’s next owner.  In the deepest recesses of her person, she knew she meant it.  "He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar said, smiling at her as if they had been friends for the longest time.

"I’m sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea’s favorite Filipino dishes.   She and Sugar spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at Bea’s and Miguel’s college photos and yearbooks. She found out that Sugar likes most of the things she does. They both came from the same high school. As she tried to get to know Sugar better during their afternoon chat, she realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel, she also seemed like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked about the wedding details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara. They like almost the same places, the same styles, the same shops.  She told Sugar they should do shopping marathon together.  Had it been another day, she would be telling herself that this is really a great opportunity to find someone who understands her shopping needs.Except that this is not one of those days? Except that this woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was Miguel’s fiancée`.

Bea’s phone rings. The name Boyfriend flashes.

"You should really get that" Sugar told Bea.

"Yeah, I guess I should. Hello? Yes? I’m good. I’m here at Miguel’s. Oh have in front of me Sugar, Miguel’s fiancée`." The words almost got stuck in her throat, but she still managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I’ll call you later. I have very good news for you."

Miguel sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them and asked "So tell me?  Was there never a time the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and Miguel looked at each other then looked at their own hands. Miguel’s gaze turned to Sugar. He answered "Of course not. Bea and I were never like that."  "As in?" Sugar inquired.  "LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too much to handle for me. I can’t keep up with her. She’s never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea and  smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his dimples gloriously show.

"I guess that’s the way for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a little hint of disappointment.  "Okay lang yun. Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still smiling.

"Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call him."

Bea left the garden and went up to her room to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes. The answer is Yes."

*********

The wedding went well. It was one of the most elegant weddings she had seen.  Sugar had everything covered and she was a very beautiful, blushing bride.  "I, Miguel, take you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us."  Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She slowly got up, walked away from the spectators. Tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.

**********

Bea is once again on her way to the airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a wedding ring on his left finger.

"Hay, here we go again. I’m driving you to the airport. Kailan na naman kaya tao magkikita?"

"Ewan ko. Tell me something," her tone all too serious. "What was it that you love about Sugar? How did you know she was the one?" Miguel just  smiled.  "Dali na ano? Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days dib a?"

"You know what I love about her? The same things I loved about you before. The only difference is that she’s not as ambitious as you are. When you left for

New York

two years ago, I knew I don’t have a place in the life you’ve chosen. I don’t blame you for that. You’re good in your field and I thought to myself that it’s your right to move on without me. Moving away was a decision you made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you might nag me about it but I found the better version of you in Sugar.She’s so much like you in so many ways but the only difference is she loves me more than you do."

She wanted to cry the tears she had kept as he witnessed him say his vows, but kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh. How could he move on without her? Why was it easy for him and not for her? As she got off the car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she felt her heart heavy.

"I guess this is goodbye?" she told Miguel.

"Wait, I’m not letting you out until you answer question. Did Edward propose?"

Bea showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."  Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to Bea’s face, he saw a single tear fall from her right eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation. Edward was the best version of you that I can find in

New York

."

**i plagarized this from sumwer. peace. i cudn’t help but copy it=)

Bookmark and Share

i think.

February 9th, 2007 by chin-adik

Loveithuih_1

Bookmark and Share

love_dozen of feelins’

February 9th, 2007 by chin-adik

View this photo Love_by_dozendeadroseslkio_10

Bookmark and Share

December 24th, 2006 by chin-adik

P1010289_1 Girl: Do i ever               
cross ur mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: Not really

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose–me or ur life

Boy: my life

The girl runs away in shock and pain,
and
the boy
runs after her and says…

The reason you never cross my mind
is because you’re always on my mind.

The reason why I don’t like you
is because I love you.

The reason I don’t want you
is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn’t cry if you left
is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn’t live for you
is because I would die for you.

The reason why I’m not willing to do
anything for
you
is because I would do everything for
you.

The reason I chose my life
is because YOU ARE MY LIFE.

Bookmark and Share

a blah blah of mine..

December 21st, 2006 by chin-adik

===he asked me one time if wat’s the best thing to choose- the one you love or the one who loves you most..well, i am certain, even before i knew him that we, people should always go for the one you love. and that’s wat i told him even if i know that-the one he loves is far from who i am– but just the same, i still told him what i believe in. coz i think that in choosing the one that you love, no matter how hard it is, how painful it’ll be.. there will always be something that will make you hang on to that. coz there’s sumthing in you that will keep you from lettin go and you’ll know that there will be no regrets even if it ends nowhere. i guess that’s how life is, i mean you gotta learn to endure all the pain.. sumtimes you gotta be more giving. you gotta learn to take risks.. and you gotta stop thinkin if he’s worthy of it, you need to open your eyes to the possibility that maybe he deserves the risk that you took. a friend once told me that, i have to stop thinkin what ifs, a whole lotta what if and ol that sh*t, she sed that in order for you to find the one that you’re lookin for, you gotta know how to play the rules of this game and the only rule is –it’s do or die— so that’s it. it’s do or die with you. but somehow, i kinda accepted that sometimes, things doesn’t turn out the way u wanted it to be, but then again– there’s no one to blame cos i played the game. sometimes i need to accept that i couldn’t get everything i put my eyes into, cos maybe somebody else needs him more.. [well i do need him, i do want him and sure, i do wanna col him my guy] but then, i feel that his heart does not belong to me, i feel that he’d be happier with her [maybe its all those paranoia effect sh*t em thinkin] but just the same, i wouldn’t want to see him sad, –with me– , it’s more of like i felt that i am just not the one he’s looking for [hmm, u dunno, how painful this is, me ,tellin myself that i'm not for you] but then, i’m a big gurl, i gotta accept it. i told you once, i don’t wanna see you sad.. so un.. whew, naubusan nako ng ENGLISH, pede tagalog naman? hihi, ayon-[komedy pa din noh, cyemps, para indi mashado malungkot] basta, like wat i sed.. -it’s you that i want– but i will understand if it’s not me that you need [o dba, understanding] putik, bakit ko ba kc pinipilit na i should be with you?! hmm indi ko din alam, basta all i know is that, you’re way too dangerous for me– hehe cos i think that you are a one ass player, a gangster, a serious crime and a very HOT one.. =) [woohoo, feel na feel mo na namn na yummy ka jan, tuktukan kaya kita noh? yoko, kakaltukan mko eh.. yoko nga] basta un, i put this on blog kc, baka lang namn u’l visit my blog and then you’ll read this and then u’ll know what i’m thinkin. basta un. oops, wag ka magreact, u still have me if u need me 24/7, [o dba parang seven-eleven store lng.] hmmm, mashado kana malakas sakin ah, i saw ur pix agen with that cream of yours. hmmm, cge lang, be with her if she’l make you happy. ayt, i’m cool, im morethan cool, im ice-[yuck corny] basta, let’s see. basta, that’s it. hehe. take care, carebear. [ikaw na kalbo ka, e kung patubuin ko kaya yang buhok mo?! ano? oops peace, baka ako ang kalbuhin mo, yoko nga, i'll be a shampoo model pa in the future noh..]

Bookmark and Share

August 14th, 2006 by chin-adik

uhm, i dunno.. ‘just dat everything seems to very chaotic these days.. naku, it’s hard when you don’t know what to do in your life really.. [weh, what am i pointing out?] nothing.. just wanna press the keyboard.. i dunno where this words will lead me.. basta as of the moment.. i have a big bump on my face and i hate it! [to the max] and everyone is seeing it.. arggh! hehe, arte.. oo na ako na c tita glo..=) hay naku.. now,realizations have been coming over and over in mah head.. naku. . and i’m beginning to see what a fool i have become.. haha.. [guess it happens everyday, forgive me my friends..tanga talaga eh.. but don't woorry, it'll be gone before you know it.. haha wait lang kau.. } jeezzz, can't wait to get rid of it.. and him too..[ooppss, i'm sorry if i break your heart.. indi ko sinasadya.. tigas ulo kasi eh..] peace! o anu ba yan, scattered brain na namn.. what is that huh? naku naku naku.. [stuck up moment..] hay basta, it’ll be over soon.. at kung sino ka man.. who could be waiting for me too.. ano ba.. ang tagal mo naman pala.. nakakainip.. c’mom it’ll help if you’ll glide.. haha.. forgive me walang essence? [wait, essence? diba dapat SENSE un?] haha.. basta yun na un.. =) biatch!! =)

Bookmark and Share

aawwwA

August 6th, 2006 by chin-adik

scene: a boy and a gurl chillin.. and suddenly she caught him staring at her….

Gurl: ano? yoohoo, bakit?

Boy: anong bakit? akala mo naman maganda ka?!

Gurl: laughs.. then looked away…

[a moment of silence for 4 seconds..then boy speaks up..]

Boy: sigh! MAGANDA Ka nga

                ang ganda ganda mo nga… [tantalizing eyes]

..,hihi, la lng just wana share this moment of kilig.. hay, super aww ako sa scene na to.. =)

Bookmark and Share

a song

July 24th, 2006 by chin-adik

Dream lover I need a lover to give me The kind of love That will last always I need somebody uplifting To take me away I want a lover who knows me Who understands how I feel inside Someone to comfort and hold me Through the long lonely nights Till the dawn Why don’t you take me away Dreamlover come rescue me Take me up take me down Take me anywhere you want to baby now I need you so desperately Won’t you please come around ‘Cause I wanna share forever with you baby I don’t want another pretender To disillusion me one more time Whispering words of forever Playing with my mind I need someone to hold on to The kind of love that won’t fly away I just want someone to belong to Everyday Of my life Always So come and take me away

Bookmark and Share

a song

July 24th, 2006 by chin-adik

Dream lover

I need a lover to give me
The kind of love
That will last always
I need somebody uplifting
To take me away

I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely nights
Till the dawn
Why don’t you take me away

Dreamlover come rescue me
Take me up take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won’t you please come around
‘Cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I don’t want another pretender
To disillusion me one more time
Whispering words of forever
Playing with my mind

I need someone to hold on to
The kind of love that won’t fly away
I just want someone to belong to
Everyday Of my life Always
So come and take me away

Bookmark and Share